Rough Night

I was up with Brian most of the night. his pain was bad. We pushed his bolus button several times but it wasn't helping so I called hospice about 3:30 am to let them know I was giving him a ketamine shot. It did help after awhile but he hates the way it makes him feel so I ended up staying up with him till 6am holding his hand. He is feeling better this morning but still having some pain.

Sweet Bri

I'm telling Brian bye because I'm leaving for a couple of hours while the nurse sits with him, and he says to me, "I love you so much and I'm already waiting for you to get home."

He doesn't make it easy for me to leave… LOL

Brian on the buggy

Brian on the buggy

Brian has been restless again so I got him on the buggy and he had a blast!  He doesn't open his eyes much and so he tends to go all over the place.  Every time he would run into the grass he said I pushed him, lol.  When he was tired and wanted to go back home he said "Man, I have to get you home, you are panting and wore out"   I thought that was cute!  lol.

He is still sleeping most of the time and you can barely hear him when he talks but he seems to get restless and needs to do something low key about once every week or two.  I have been told that that is normal.  

Last night I was upset and he asked me what is wrong.  I told him that it was just that I am worried about him and he replied "don't worry about me, I'm too stupid to die"  I'm not sure what he meant by that but it made me laugh.. 

Random pics over the last year

Warning:  This may be hard to see.

The night before we found out

 

One of the last fun things Brian got to do out.  We went 2 tracking
with Caressa & Josh and one of their friends. 

Notice the shoes.  He had significant confusion off and on at this point.

Fishing with Dan Needham. 

 

Crab Rangoon

Bri just woke up and told me he wants 4 chinese hockey sockey rolls. 

After a series of questions we figured out he wants crab rangoon. HAHA

-I know I haven't posted about him in awhile. He has been very stable. No changes in the last three weeks or so.  

He sleeps a lot. He is awake about 3 hours a day. He usually eats a small amount once a day. 

I will post an update if there are any changes.

Thank you everyone for your continued prayers for strength and peace ❤️❤️

Meds

Brian has been in bed since last Tuesday 6/14 night. Wenesday 6/15 morning he threw up quite a lot, was having some kind of convulsions or shakes, and couldn't talk for most of the day. He was very weak. Hospice checked him out. The doctor said he expected this.  Since then, Brian has only been waking up every 6 hours (when I wake him) for his medicine. He is still quite weak. I got him up for a bath today and he was able to walk, with help, to the tub. He fell asleep as soon as he was in the water. I got him back out after I cleaned him, the room, and changed the sheets. He said it was too much work and didnt want to do it again. I think he fell asleep before his head hit the pillow. 

Brian has been quite irritated everytime I wake him for his medicine.  This morning I put a dissolvable zofran under his tongue and he grabbed it out of his mouth and threw it on the floor. I asked him why he did that and he replied "It wasn't  working"

Once yesterday Brian refused to take his medicing at all. I told him "you can take it orally, or Ill give it to you anally"

He was very willing after that. LOL

Hangin' in there

Things are pretty much the same.  He sleeps most of the time but it seems like every two or three days he "wakes up" and wants to go do "something".  Hospice says this is normal.  He is still loosing weight.  Hospice is still coming every 2-3 days.  He has been complaining about it being hard to breath over the last few days.

He is very stubborn and we have to watch him because we never know what the "something" he will want to do, is.  One time, he wanted to go drive his truck.. sometimes he wants to get out some power tools, or try to mow.  You can see why this would be an issue if you can imagine Brian as an 80 year old man on a lot of narcotic pain meds who can't work his phone or the remote most of the time.  Which also explains why he gets so angry and frustrated because he has always been so capable and driven.  It's hard not to feel sorry for him, which also makes him mad.

Sunday (the 12th) around 4pm he woke up and wanted to go through his things and tell me who gets what.  Yesterday he wanted to start telling me what to write in letters he wants to leave for some people.  He only got through one and a half before he fell asleep.  We finished another one today but he was confused so we will have to revisit that one.  Ill keep helping push him to finish them because I know its important to him.

Today his hospice nurse asked him if she can come back Thursday and he told her "only if you bring me a new truck and an airplane"  He says some pretty funny stuff..  Im thinking I may try to post more often and share some of the off the wall stuff he does.  It keeps things interesting for sure!

Here are some examples that happened about a month or so ago:

He has these plush pillows you can microwave.  He went into the kitchen and put them in the freezer, closed the door, then started pushing buttons.  I asked him what he is doing, he said "warming up my pillows" I opened the door and told him that won't work.  He said, "What, the freezer won't heat my stuff up anymore?  Thats just great!"  Then he stomped out of the kitchen.

Brian went into the kitchen and got 2 hot dogs out and put them on a plate.  He put the plate with the hot dogs into the fridge and closed the door.  He then walked over to the microwave, opened the door, then looked at me and asked "Where's my hotdogs?"

A couple weeks ago Brian was very persistent about getting his suit tailored.  While the lady was pinning his pants she asked "So what's the special occasion?"  Brian replied "My Funeral"
He got a real kick out of that one.. I started laughing and crying at the same time because it hurt but it was SO BRIAN!